Tantolina
by Chibi Teazer
Summary: This woz out of sheer stupidity. CATS play out Thumbelina.....
1. Default Chapter

Ok guyz, it might be a bit easier to read this time. All actions, stage thingz are in brackets (like this) Sorree about the first one. Thanks for the great reviews you guyz are giving me. I have tried to return the favour by visiting all your CATS fictions and reviewing as many as I can but you guys have so many fics its taking me a while!  
  
Disclaimer - Yeah u guyz noe that I don't own cats don'tcha? Of course you do! I do own CT as she well is me! So Enjoy!!!  
  
TANTOLINA  
  
All cats are gathered around waiting to be told what they are doing.  
  
"Alright people! Over here please!"  
  
This is the cast list for Tantolina..."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Shush. just read the list"  
  
All cats gather round.  
  
Tantolina - Tantomile  
  
Old Tom - Admetus  
  
Old Queen - Victoria  
  
Fairy - Cassandra  
  
Father Toad - Alonzo  
  
Fish - Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Plato  
  
Beetle - Rum Tum Tugger  
  
Beetle's Friends - Quaxo, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus,  
  
Mrs Field Mouse - Munkustrap  
  
Mr Mole - Mungojerrie  
  
Swallow - Jemima  
  
Fairy/Flower King - Coricopat  
  
Fairies - Etcetera, Electra, Demeter, Rumpleteazer  
  
Narrator - Bombalurina  
  
Props, Behind the scenes etc - Asparagus  
  
Munk - Oh good lord! Why do I always have to be a cross dresser! This is so unfair!  
  
(Sounds of muffled laughter is heard from all cats.)  
  
CT - Because you are ok! Any other problems?  
  
Etcetera - Hah! My name's there twice.  
  
CT - What?! It shouldn't be  
  
(Grabs cast list and looks carefully) It's only there once!  
  
Etcetera - Nup! It's with the props as well as for being a fairy.  
  
(1 All cats groan)  
  
Victoria - I don't wanna be an old lady!  
  
CT - But you're a nice old lady!  
  
Victoria - Oh, ok then.  
  
(Goes of smiling happily poking her tongue out at Etcetera.)  
  
CT - Shall we begin?  
  
All Cats - No!  
  
(Chibi Teazer ignores them and shover the first two characters on.)  
  
~TANTOLINA~ PART ONE  
  
Bombalurina - There once lived a couple who longed to have a kitten, but their wish never came true.. Oh how dumb..  
  
CT - Bombalurina..  
  
Bomalurina - Ok! Ok! (Putting on a high pitched voice) At last, the woman went to a fairy and asked for her help.  
  
Victoria - (Knocking on a door) Hello! Is anyone home??  
  
Cassandra - Aww c'mon hold yer horses! (Door opens and we see a slightly hungover Cassandra.) Watcha want?  
  
Victoria - I want to have a kitten but nothing erm seems to well happen.  
  
Cassandra - (Reaching behind her pulls out a packet of carrot seeds) Plant these in a flower pot and water it carefully. Now if you'll 'scuse me (yawning) I gotta get some.. (She collapses behind the door.)  
  
1.1 Bombalurina - Soon a beautiful er. What is this cr.  
  
CT - No swearing!!! Young kittens could be reading this!  
  
Bombalurina - Fine then! Soon a beautiful carrot (rolls her eyes) sprang up.  
  
Victoria - Oh how beautiful.. (She kisses the top of the carrot.)  
  
Bombalurina - As she kissed the carrot the leaves at the top of it opened up to reveal a slightly green kitten. Wait! Slightly green?  
  
Vicci - Well, she was born out of the carrots leaves wasn't she?  
  
Bombi - Right... the old queen called her mate.  
  
Vicci - Admetus! Where are you! Our kitten has been, well, born!  
  
Admetus - I'm coming! Sheesh!  
  
Bombi - The queen and her tom named the kitten Tantolina. She was so small that the two cats had to make her bed out of a walnut shell.  
  
Tantolina - Oh no you don't! There is no way you're getting me inside that shell!  
  
Teazer - (Voice from the audience) Wot r'you complainin bou'! Jerrie and I 'ave slep' in much worse places than tha'!  
  
Jerrie - Hey Teaze! Remembuh the toime we go' locked ou' and we 'ad to sleep in the vegetable gardin?  
  
Teazer - Oh yeah. Moi neck 'urt sooooooo much af'er tha'!  
  
CT - Excuse me? We have a story to finish here! Tantomile get in the walnut shell!  
  
Tant - Geez, ok ok keep your hair on! (Gets into the walnut.)  
  
Bombi - During the day, the queen kept a bowl on the table filled with water. He he he and Tantolina amused herself by rowing around in it on a rose petal. In yah go Tantolina! (Pushes Tanto into the bowl 'accidentally')  
  
Tant - Bombalurina!!!!!  
  
Bombi - Yah? Just doing what the script told me ter do.. Oh yeah (she notices Asparagus pointing to the script behind the scenes) She used two white horsehairs for oars. (Screaming is heard and Tantomile is seen almost drowning under two huge pieces of horsehair. All the toms are laughing.) (Tim shaw's voice.) But wait everyone! There's more! As she rowed, she sang in the tiniest, prettiest voice imaginable!  
  
Tant - Oh no! Chibi Teazer there is no way you are gettin me singing!  
  
CT - Ok! We'll erm skip that bit..  
  
Bombi - Oh joy! Wait until you here this! (She is silenced by a bucket of water spilling on her head. Tantomile is seen above her.)  
  
Tant - Lets call that payback. Now shaddup and keep to the script.  
  
Bombi - (Through gritted teeth) One night a big ugly toad hopped..  
  
Alonzo - Hey! I'm not big and ugly!  
  
Jenny - No dear of course your not but for now please stick to the script. It will get this stupid story over quicker.  
  
Bombi - I'll try again. One night a toad hopped through the window. When he saw Tantolina in her walnut (evil glare from the general vicinity of walnut shell) he thought:  
  
Alonzo - You'll make the perfect bride for my son. er I don't have a son. guys?  
  
Bombi - Shaddup! The toad snatched the walnut (grunting is heard as Alonzo tries to pick up the shell with Tant in it. He finally gives up and drags it away.) He carried er he dragged her to him home in the swamp and set her down on a large lillypad. Then he went to fetch. yeah right that's a game you play with a pollicle. his son. While he was gone Tantolina woke up. She began to cry.  
  
Tant - I'm sorry. I don't cry.  
  
CT - Well, could you just pretend? For me? (Puts on a face. U noe wot I mean.)  
  
Tant - (Hissing through teeth quietly) I'm never going to live this down. (Starts to 'mock' cry.)  
  
Rum Tum Rugger - (Talking to the other toms.) Gawsh! This is soooo boring!! I know how I can fix this! (Bellows to the cats on stage.) TEA BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHIBI Teazer HAS PROVIDED FREEEEEEEEEE FISH!!!!!  
  
CT - I have?  
  
~Finis~ Part One 


	2. Part Two.... OOOOhhh Ahhhh

Just to refresh your memories...  
  
Tantolina - Tantomile  
  
Old Tom - Admetus  
  
Old Queen - Victoria  
  
Fairy - Cassandra  
  
Father Toad - Alonzo  
  
Fish - Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Plato  
  
Beetle - Rum Tum Tugger  
  
Beetle's Friends - Quaxo, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus,  
  
Mrs Field Mouse - Munkustrap  
  
Mr Mole - Mungojerrie  
  
Swallow - Jemima  
  
Fairy/Flower King - Coricopat  
  
Fairies - Etcetera, Electra, Demeter, Rumpleteazer  
  
Narrator - Bombalurina  
  
Props, Behind the scenes etc - Asparagus  
  
  
  
~TANTOLINA~ PART 2  
  
Tugger has been restrained and the rest of the cats are now back from their 'break' where I managed to lose forty dollars so that they could all go and buy fish eughhhh.  
  
Bombi - Oh me again. Right. Tantolina was crying so damn hard that she woke some fish up. (Out come Skimble, Jenny, Jelly and Plato all wearing sequined outfits with what looks like butterfly wings from a past production. Sniggering is heard from the wings.) Aren't those butterfly wings from one of out past productions?  
  
Plato - Yeah well, you try finding a costume in that muck of a dressing room!  
  
CT - Back to the story please..  
  
Fish - Gawsh! What is that noise. (Fish all simultaneously put their paws to their heads in a 'searching' pose.) How inconsiderate to wake us up!  
  
Bombi - They all went in search of the phantom crier..  
  
CT - Bombalurina if I have to tell you one more.  
  
Bombi - OK! They all tried to find the person crying. Is that better?  
  
CT - *Sigh*  
  
Bombi - They saw a beautiful *green* kitten crying her eyes out on a lillypad. When the fish saw how pretty she was they decided to:  
  
Fish - Wow, she's so pretty. We should set her free!  
  
Bombi - So they bit though the stem of the lillypad and let it float away.  
  
Fish - Bye! (They try to get off stage but somehow manage to tangle their wings/fins together and are tied together. Asparagus comes onstage and tries to untie them only getting caught up himself. So they waddle offstage in a huge clump.)  
  
1 Bombi - Well, that was interesting. (She notices CT's angry glare.) But getting back to the story. Tantolina went a long way, past wide green paddocks filled with cows and sheep. (Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie appear in cow and sheep costumes and begin to moo and baa loudly.)  
  
CT - Not in the script... get em offffff!!!! (they are dragged off)  
  
Bombi - Suddenly a beetle swooped down and seized Tantolina in his claws.  
  
Tugger - How pretty you are! I shall make you my wife!  
  
Bombi - Tantolina was very frightened but there was nothing she could do.  
  
Tant - (Sarcastically) Oh help me help me. I've been kidnapped by Tugger. I'm so scared..  
  
Tugger - Hey!  
  
Bombi - The beetle set her down on a tree to show his new 'acquisition' to his mates.  
  
Quaxo - How ugly she is!  
  
Tant - Hey!  
  
Pounce - Her waist is so slim!  
  
Tumble - And she only has two legs!  
  
All 3 - She looks horrible!  
  
Tant - Well thankyou very much! I didn't know you felt that way! (almost crying)  
  
Cori - Don't cry Tant.. (pats her on the back)  
  
CT - Cori! You aren't in this part of the plaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bombi - The beetle decided that he didn't want Tantolina as a wife anymore so he flew her down from the tree and set her on a daisy. Except the daisy broke. So she fell to the ground on her.  
  
CT - Please Bombi! Just stick to the script!  
  
Bombi - Tantolina was very sad. All summer she lived in the forest. She wove herself a bed of grass and hung it under a large leaf to shelter herself from rain. She drank morning dew and ate nectar from the flowers and was perfectly content until winter came. First the leaf that Tantolina lived under shriveled and died and then the flowers all died - damn, no food. She almost froze to death. She was looking for a place to stay when she came across a cottage. She knocked on the door.  
  
Tant - I wonder who lives here? (Screaming is heard in the background. Munkustrap is shoved on wearing a wig with curls in it and a dress and a funny looking bonnet. Tugger yells something at him which makes the whole cast crack up.)  
  
2 Munk - When I get my claws on you CT!!!! Hello dear. Come in, come in!  
  
Tant - I have a problem dear Mrs Mouse. I have nowhere to live and I have no food and I am very cold. May I stay with you for a little while.  
  
Munk - (Covering his eyes with one paw.) If you keep my house clean and tidy, tell me stories and sing for me then you may stay all winter if you want.  
  
Tant - Oh gee! That sounds smashing!  
  
Cori - Smashing?  
  
Tant - Shaddup! It's in the script.  
  
Bombi - One day the field mouse said  
  
Munk - Listen Tantolina, my friend Mr Mole is coming to pay me a visit. He is much richer than I am and has a wonderful er, black coat. But he is blind, so be sure to tell him your best stories ok?"  
  
Tant - Sure Mrs Mouse.  
  
Bombi - The mole showed up the next day.  
  
Jerrie - (Jerrie appears wearing a cat sized tuxedo including tails and a top hat.) Ello, ello ello! 'Ow are we goin todai?  
  
Bombi - Tantolina did not like him even though he was rich and all. He said dreadful things about the sun and the flowers and birds. However, Tantolina still told her best stories for him and sang all the songs she knew.  
  
Tant - Er, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall..  
  
CT - Aww, c'mon Tant! You know better ones than that!  
  
Tant - It's a small world after allll.. (All cats cover their ears in pain.)  
  
Bombi - The mole invited Mrs Mouse and Tantolina to come to his home underground.  
  
Jerrie - I woul' be 'onoure' if yous woul' com and visi' me 'ome unda groun'.  
  
Bombi - So the three set out through a tunnel the mole had dug.  
  
Jerrie - Now watch yer step. There's a dead bir' down 'ere. But don' worry bou' 'im. Woi do oi 'av ta wear this stoopid soot CT? It's chokin me!  
  
Teazer - 'Old on luv! (She claws at his throat while the rest of the cast watch in horror.)  
  
Jerrie - (He starts speaking as though he's drunk.) Yea' tha' feewls an 'ole lo' betta. Fanks Teaze. (He promptly faints.)  
  
3 CT - Oh great! Now we don't have a Mr Mole!  
  
Tugger - BREAK TIME!!!!! (All cats stream out leaving Teazer and Jerrie onstage.)  
  
CT - Not again!! (Following Tugger getting ready to pound him.)  
  
4 Teazer - Hey Jerr! We go' the staige all to ourselves!  
  
Jerrie - (Wakes up out of his state of suspended animation and looks at her.) Yeah, all to ourselves.  
  
~Finis~ PART TWO 


	3. PArt three! It's finally finished!

And again - Actually this is for me. I need to have word on split screen when I'm doing this. I gotta horrible memory. ^-^  
  
Tantolina - Tantomile  
  
Old Tom - Admetus  
  
Old Queen - Victoria  
  
Fairy - Cassandra  
  
Father Toad - Alonzo  
  
Fish - Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Plato  
  
Beetle - Rum Tum Tugger  
  
Beetle's Friends - Quaxo, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus,  
  
Mrs Field Mouse - Munkustrap  
  
Mr Mole - Mungojerrie  
  
Swallow - Jemima  
  
Fairy/Flower King - Coricopat  
  
Fairies - Etcetera, Electra, Demeter, Rumpleteazer  
  
Narrator - Bombalurina  
  
Props, Behind the scenes etc - Asparagus  
  
~TANTOLINA~ PART THREE  
  
All the cats come trudging back inside muttering curses. They notice Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer practicing some sort of dance routine.  
  
CT - What are you two doing? (Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie stop prancing and stare at them.)  
  
Jerrie - We woz prac'ising. Tha's wot we wz doin. Go' a problem wif tha'?  
  
CT - No, not at all. It's good to see you are well, alive, Mungojerrie. (Glaring at a heavily blushing Rumpleteazer.)  
  
Tugger - Awww, love is a pain. (He batts his eyes)  
  
CT - Asparagus?  
  
Asparagus - Yeah?  
  
CT - Have you got a straight jacket at all in there? (Pointing to the costume room).  
  
Asparagus - Lemme have a look. (Rustling is heard then CRASH then OWWWWWWWW he reappears carrying a straight jacket.) I also got a gag. (He smiles evilly as he helps CT restrain Tugger and gag him.)  
  
CT - Back to the great story of Tantolina!  
  
Bombi - Oh great. Where were we. Oh yeah. The old mole was taking the Mouse and the green gal down to his home.  
  
Tant - Would you give it a rest about me being green! It aint my fault anyway. Tumble dropped a bucket of green dye on my fur.  
  
Bombi - Anyway, when the group came to the dead bird, the mole accidentally pushed his nose through the roof of the tunnel and sunlight streamed in showing the bird. She was a swallow.  
  
Tant - Poor bird.  
  
Jemima - Mummy? Do I have to be a dead bird!!??!!  
  
Jenny - Fraid so dear. You saw what CT did to Tugger. (Jemima shuts up immediately.)  
  
Tant - She must have died from the cold.  
  
Jerrie - Useless animoowls bir's. Specially this one cause I seem ta be loosin a lo' of my money recen'ly..  
  
Bombi - The mole pushed the bird roughly aside.  
  
Tant - Perhaps you are one of the birds who sang so beautifully for me during the summer. (Reading the next part of the script.) Woaah! Hold it! I am NOT kissing Jemima! Not even on the head. D'you know what will happen to our reputations if this gets out to other tribes?  
  
CT - Fine! Skip that part to! (Sighs and puts head in hands.)  
  
Bombi - After the mole showed them his house and gave them tea he led them home again. That night Tantolina couldn't sleep.  
  
Tant - I can't sleep.  
  
Tugger - You don't say.  
  
CT - GAG HIM!!!!  
  
Bombi - Tantolina kept on thinking about the poor swallow in the tunnel. She crept from her bed and wove a blanket out of hay. She took in into the tunnel and laid it gently over the swallow.  
  
Tant - You poor thing. (Laying her head on Jemima's er chest.) Oh holy socks!  
  
Etcetera and Electra - Holy Socks?  
  
Tant - Oh leave it out. I'm older than you anyway!  
  
Bombi - As she laid her head down she realised that the swallow was still breathing. But he was very weak.  
  
Tant - I'll look after you until you are better.  
  
Bombi - When spring came the swallow was well enough to fly away.  
  
Jemima - Come with me? I can take you to warm beautiful places.  
  
Tant - I can't. Mrs Field Mouse has been very kind to me so I cannot just leave her.  
  
Jemima - Very well fair euuuuuwwwwwww I'm not saying that! Bye Tantomile.  
  
Tant - (Whispered) Er Jemi that's Tantolina.  
  
Jemi - Oh yeah. woops.  
  
Bombi - Thumbelina worked very hard for the field mouse but was seldom allowed out to see the sunshine.  
  
CT - BOMBI!! It's TANTolina!  
  
Bombi - Oh yeah.. Blah blah balah. Munk you're on!  
  
Munk - (Sniggering is once again heard as Munkustrap walks onstage. He trips over as he is wearing high heels now.) Why am I always the bloody cross dresser... (puts on a high pitched squeaky voice) I have good news for you dear Tantolina. The mole has asked for your hand in marriage. We must work to get your wedding clothes ready!  
  
Tant - But I don't wanna marry Mungojerrie!  
  
Asparagus - Erm that line is: I don't wish to marry the mole.  
  
Tant - Yeah, but I can't say that cause he isn't a mole. plus another thing. CT why does everyone want to marry me!!!!!!!!! I'm getting sick of this rubbish!  
  
CT - Aww c'mon Tant you only got a little further to go.  
  
Tant - Alright  
  
Asparagus - Your line Munku  
  
Munk - Don't be silly. You have to marry the mole. He is handsome and..  
  
Teazer - Oi'll say! (Giggles are heard from the kittens watching and Jerrie, in the wings turns red.)  
  
Munk - As I was saying (glaring at Teazer) he is handsome and rich and will make an excellent husband. You will marry him or I will what? Or I will bite you! This is bull...  
  
CT - Little kids Munkustrap don't swear!  
  
Bombi - The filed mouse. Woops sorry the field mouse made her wedding gown for her. As the day drew near Tantolina knew that she couldn't spend the rest of her life underground. The day before the wedding she begged the field mouse to let her outside.  
  
Tant - Please Mrs Mouse let me go outside.  
  
Munk - Alright out you go.  
  
Tant - (Outside) I'm going to run away.  
  
Pouncival - No duh...  
  
Tant - Shut up!  
  
Bombi - She called the beautiful swallow she had saved.  
  
Tant - Jemmi! You're on!  
  
Jemmi - Oh right.  
  
Tant - Will you please fly me away from here?  
  
Jemmi - Sure! Hop on my back.  
  
Bombi - The mouse and the mole saw what was about to happen and ran outside.  
  
Munk - (Puts no effort in at all.) Wait. Your wedding is tomorrow (Trips over his dress as he is running and rips it.)  
  
Jerrie - (Also puts no effort in at all.) Year. Tommora. Wait. Wait.  
  
Bombi - So Tantolina flew into the sky with the swallow.  
  
Jemmi - This is where I leave you Tantolina.  
  
Tant - Ok that's great but where the hell am I?  
  
Jemmi - You're in fairyland.  
  
Tant - Oh pulease! That is the lamest one I've ever heard. (A script falls at her feet. She opens it and reads it. Highlighted in pink are her lines.) Oh ok. Oh goodie! Fairyland! (she does a little sarcastic prance around the stage)  
  
Bombi - At that moment a little fairytom came up to her.  
  
Cori - Hello. I'm the fairy prince. Will you marry me?  
  
Tant - Oh of course I'll marry you. CT this is absolute BBEEEEEEEEEP.  
  
Asparagus - All people on stage for the wedding scene!  
  
(Grumbling is heard as all the cats assemble on stage. All the fairies appear with presents for her.)  
  
Fairies - These are gifts for out new fairy queen.  
  
Jenny and Jelly - Awwwwwwwww aren't they cute!!!!  
  
Bombi - The best gift Tantolina had was a tiny pair of wings. Now she could fly from flower to flower happily.  
  
Tant - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! I AM NOT KISSING CORI!!!!  
  
Cori - Oh ok then..  
  
Bombi - And they all lived kissless ever after.  
  
CT - There! That wasn't so hard now was it?  
  
(All the cats advance on the doomed fanfic writer claws out ready to kill.)  
  
1 CT - Or not...  
  
(She runs out of the hall with angry cats following her.)  
  
2 Teazer - Well, I though' I' woz a very noice story.  
  
Jerrie - Yea, I though' I' woz to.  
  
Tugger - Urgle mugflle rwhsgr!!  
  
(Jerrie and Teaze undo him)  
  
Tugger - wait till I get my claws on her!!! (runs out after CT to.)  
  
(Jerrie and Teaze shrug and run out too after CT, like two little sheep.)  
  
~Finis~!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
